Friday Fiction – A Man and His Phone

Welcome to A Man and His Phone – a series of relationship mishaps!

Image: Wikimedia Commons

Jane toppled from the stool. Anyone who’d seen would assume she’d had a couple too many. Maybe that was better than what had really happened. Chris had literally brushed her off and there he was fumbling for his phone. She had to blink hard to take it in.

So he won’t answer my text, but he pushes me off his lap just to answer a call? Jane fumed. She looked over as he swiped the screen, and turned his back on Jane and Adrienne to take the call.

Jane turned to Adrienne, hoping for a little girlfriend support. Oh, the times they had spent analyzing this guy and that, trying to crack the man code. If any of their subjects knew the scrutiny they’d been put under, they would either wither or run away fast. But Jane and her friends took the dating scene seriously. Every move a guy made, or didn’t make, was fair game for discussion. Standard were how long it took to text or call after a weekend. Sunday night to check in? That’s solid! Monday and Tuesday? Any longer and the guy is working his options.

Of course, it wasn’t just the text or call and the call was a must at some point. They analyzed thousands of guy behaviors to see where the relationship stood. Have you met his friends? Good sign. Mention of nieces and nephews? Wants kids. Do you only get together on Fridays? Bad sign. Has he left anything at your place? Very good sign. Clothes, mannerisms, food choices, job, use of wallet. It was business, but it was also a sort of entertainment, a frequent happy hour discussion. As if they were members of the same platoon, Jane and her friends swore their loyalties to each other, but below the surface was a world of private thoughts.

Adrienne nodded over to Chris and gave Jane a sympathetic eye roll. There’s a friend for you, Jane thought. No need to explain how I’m feeling. Adrienne knows. Chris seemed to be in no hurry to end his call, if that’s what it was, but for the life of her, Jane couldn’t imagine who he’d be talking to when the action was right here at Karma! She moved over to Adrienne and was glad for a chance to commiserate before the music came back on.

“Did you see that?” she asked her friend. “I mean, I could have broken a bone the way he popped me off his lap just to take a call. Of all people to pledge sudden loyalty to their device!”

“I know! I couldn’t believe how he reacted,” replied Adrienne. “Are you okay, Jane? That was harsh!”

A heavy synthesized beat filled Karma. Jane straightened. “Tell phone man he can find me out dancing. I’m through waiting.”

“I’ll be out there soon,” Adrienne answered. When her friend was out of sight, she pulled out her phone and tapped a message:

You can end your call. She’s dancing now 😉

Thank you for reading.

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